It seems right now many people are stressed. I’m not simply talking about the stress that comes with economic uncertainty, but I’m seeing fewer smiles on people’s faces. I’m seeing more blogs with angry comments. I’m seeing more hopelessness.

Since the focus of this blog is living a life of balance as well as financial principles I decided to take a look at what stress costs each of us.

Now, I’m not an economist. Remember, I started this blog because I’ve lived it. Therefore, I won’t have some speculation based on a fancy equation by a long-dead mathematician. I’m going to look at things all of us can measure.

1. Stress can cost you an entire meal when a bad phone call comes while you’re fixing supper.
2. Stress can cost you an evening of fun with your kids when you allow the office to follow you home.
3. Stress can cost you quite a bit on your grocery bill when you are in a hurry or upset. [You tend to buy more when you aren't paying attention.]
4. Stress can cost you. The money for prescriptions to counter the effects of stress.

But what can we do with these? I want to offer something to think about and something to do.

First, the something to do. When you go grocery shopping or to do your errands, leave the house with a list. Before you leave, estimate how much things will cost and take the cash with you. Do not use credit or debits. If you are writing a grocery list and making your weekly meals based on the sales, this will be even easier to do. Give yourself some pad [if it is in the budget] but not too much. You need to stay within your budget.

Next, listen to a favorite CD or a book on CD on your way to the grocery. I borrow them from the library and listen on my way to the grocery and to do other errands. I have truly found about a 15%-20% decrease in my weekly grocery bill when I combine a list, a good mood and CASH ONLY.

The something to think about is this: it is always something!! While that statement is usually said to imply that there is always something to mess things up I think we need to flip it around and recognize that there is always SOMETHING to be thankful for. We need to stop focusing on the fear and focus on the positive. I say this not for some pie-in-the-sky-let’s-all-hold-hands ideal, but rather because I’ve come to realize that no matter how bad my circumstances, there was always SOMETHING good to be found. When I took the time to recognize those good things I was able to accomplish more, spend less, and generally enjoy life.

This blog is about the Balanced Life. That balance recognizes that there will be times when things are not working out as we’d like them to. Sometimes the weight on the BAD side of the scale is extremely large. That is why an arsenal of recognition of the positive is so crucial. You simply pull it out and bring your life back in to balance.

So take the time to ignore the stress. Focus on what you’ve won and are gaining rather than on what you’ve lost.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her. She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

It seems everyone has an opinion these days about how we got in to the financial mess and how we’re going to get out. In fact, as I was reading through some articles in preparation for today’s post I had to laugh. The cover of the economist shows a fish luring the other fish to certain death. The cover says “The World Economy and the Peril of Optimism.” [I have tried to link to it here]

I’m going to have to read that story to get a fuller grasp of what they’re saying inside but, on the surface, I’d have to say that optimism is necessary to get out of tough times and live in balance.

The Balanced Life is about Realistic Optimism or, to use what has become a cliche, hope. I don’t mean Obama’s “Yes we Can” political slogan. I’m more in line with the Biblical hope “Confident Expectation of Good.” Sometimes it’s not a matter of what we can do “Yes, I can” but rather it is the understanding that all of life works in cycles. Unfortunately, that means that there will be times of market correction.

For the individual reading this blog, what does it mean? It means using some of the things I’ve taught. Money saving ideas, ways to trim your food budget, fun nights at home are all proactive manifestations of hope.

I can tell you for a fact that you feel way better about your prospects when you have a good day at work vs. getting a collections call. So, while optimism and hope alone will not produce change they can be the fuel of enginuity that takes your idea forward.

So, with all this theoretical, let’s bring it to a practical place.  What is your actual financial goal. I want you to think about this beyond simply “getting by”. Where is it you’d like to be in 3 years? Is what you’re doing conducive with that? If you want to be debt free then your first task isn’t making more money-your first task is spending less. While on the surface that seems to be worse when you recognize your long term goal…it is exciting. Just like a spoiled child who receives everything it asks for, we get no joy if we get everything we want the moment we want it. There is joy that comes with hard work and building toward a goal-then accomplishing it.

Write out your goal. Now start to do it.

Receive notification when new tips are posted by subscribing here.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

I took a moment to step back this last week to re-examine the Balanced Life and what it was here for. I designed this website as a way to help people. What I realized was that I was a afraid to share some hard truths along the way.

Honesty isn’t always accepted with wild enthusiasm. We all say that we want people to be honest but what we mean is we want honesty to a point.

I’ve decided that the only way this site will serve the people I created it for was if I was honest.

So, here I start. I realize some of what I’ll say will be contraversial, but I hope everything I say will make you think.

First, THIS is completely out of balance!! [Follow link to story in the Washington Post]. For those of you who don’t want to go to it, the story is about a local councilwoman who is being overrun with requests for help.

The title of the story is, “A Hundred Anxious Days: In a South Carolina Town Where the Downturn Has Deepened Since the Inauguration, Two Obama Supporters Have Struggled, Going From ‘Fired Up’ to Tired Out”

I have a degree in Politcal Science and have followed Politics closely since I was a sophmore in High School. It fascinates me. One thing I learned in college was that many constituents contact their congressmen/women with problems.

Since WHEN is Government the solution to our every ill?

I hope that with this website people will begin to learn the JOY and FREEDOM inherent in self-sufficiency, self-denial and self worth. I know what it feels like to go hat-in-hand to the government. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer he was our sole income earner. We had four young children. We received food stamps but were told we could not have any other aid. That lasted a few months and then he was back to work, and we were on our own again.

I understand what so many thousands of people are facing right now. We were 8 days from foreclosure. We were missing meals, my husband more than anyone else. Despite that I’m glad we were not given more aid. It forced us to learn how to function without the government asking us to to provide documents if our income went up $10. The system is designed to keep people from getting out.

I want to help you build up your reserve and get in balance. It is a hard road but one worth walking. You don’t have to answer to bureaucratic red tape. So, right now, try to find one problem that you can address without looking to outside help. If you do need outside help, see how you can work together with your neighbors and individuals in your community to help each other. During World War II people had “Victory Gardens”.  My grandparents’ generation knew what it was to be a good neighbor because people still helped each other.

In our increasingly fast moving society we’ve lost a sense of community. Why not take the initiative. If you are really good at making bread and another neighbor is great at growing beans why not swap services? I’m a writer and I’d gladly edit someone’s resume if they’d watch my kids for a couple of hours so I can work.

Each of us has gift, talents and interests. Charging money gives the perception of increased value, any maybe some things are worth more, but if we will take the time to try to USE our abilities to help each other…We can start to get in balance.

Stop running to the government for help. Who cares if your taxes paid for it. The only way things will change is if we start changing ourselves.

All this talk about bailouts, subsidies, shovel-ready projects and unemployment projects are meaningless if you’re hungry. The government wasn’t put there to insure you got everything you want. It was not there to make sure I get everything I want.  It is time for us to start to pursue the life we want in earnest.

I’ve started by planting my garden and reading books on business. What are you doing?

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

There is a stereotypical belief that women are tempted by sales. I would have to agree that there is a measure of truth in this. We like to feel we are getting great bargains.

I read a story over 10 years ago that said that, while women are perceived to be spenders, it is actually men who tend to spend larger amounts of money on “toys”. This was because women will buy a $200 outfit with accessories, but men will by a snow mobile.

The key to being able to buy both of these things without destroying your relationship is to NOT buy stuff on credit and to set money aside for it.

“But that will take years!!” I hear you saying. The reality is either way you go it will take years to purchase. One way it will take years to save up. The other it will take years to pay off [plus cost THOUSANDS more in interest].

To be clear, I’m not promoting a “matress” mentaility where we all stuff our money away and hoard it. What I am suggesting is balance. Don’t buy EVERYTHING you can afford. Make sure there is money left after your paycheck. Have smaller indulgece. I won’t say to avoid eating out entirely, but eat a little less, take advantage of specials and tip your server well. [You can spend $4 on a dessert you'll feel guilty about later OR add that money to a tip and help someone else in a down economy.]

If you’re married or share expenses with a partner you need to have an agreement about how money is spent and STICK TO IT. Make sure each person knows how much spending money they have. Then do with your spending money what you will. Instead of impulse buying and throwing the entire budget off, have a “fun money allowance” for each of you to do with what you will-guilt free and without comment from the other.

Remember, it isn’t spending that is bad, just as eating that isn’t bad. It is the over-indulgence of both that will lead to problems later on.

Do you have a clever saving tip? Share it with us!

Receive notification when new tips are posted by subscribing here.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

People who hear about a money website usually make two assumptions: it’s about investing or it’s for people who are flat broke. Well, neither is true for The Balanced Life.

I have known VERY wealthy people who had a poverty mentality. Their every thought was about capturing more and clutching to what they had. They feared every penny they might have to spend and they dreaded each purchase. They were encapsulated by terror. For them, money was to be stockpiled and never spent. It was to be saved “Just in Case”. The problem was when “Just in Case” happened, they screamed and fumed about spending the money. They were out of balance.

This website is for EVERYONE. Having a balanced attitude toward money is crucial whether you earn $30,000 a year or $300,000. It is necessary if you have $1 million in savings or $1. You need to remember that money is a tool. It is neither a savior nor a friend. It isn’t an expression of love. It isn’t the answer to every problem.

We told our kids one day “You know, even as we earn more money we will still have a budget. We will not buy everything we want, even if we can afford it.” Our kids were shocked. They had bought in to the notion that if it is there it is to be spent.

One of the things I’m going to cover in my free webinars in April is the way our family determines how much we can spend on fun stuff. This is very important to keeping EVERYONE in balance, whether a saver or spender.
I have are days I’m just so frustrated with trying. I don’t want to keep track of it anymore! But I’ve seen when I push past that wall, I feel better on the other side.

So I keep working and keep trying.

I hope you will join me.

Make sure if you want to be in the webinar that you sign up for “The Balance Sheet” newsletter and indicate that you’d like to know about webinars. I am limiting each webinar to 10 people so that everyone will have plenty of time to ask questions.

Receive notification when new tips are posted by subscribing here.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

As I was thinking this weekend about what to say about the Balanced Life I started thinking about what I most need to hear in my life. I came to the conclusion that I want to SEE results. This has to do with me and with those around me. I’m tired of hoping things will change or wishing for something different.

I’m tired of talk.

I’m tired of telling myself that things will be better when XYZ happens…because it rarely is.

I’m tired of false hopes and empty promises made by others. Most of the times these people are completely sincere and have my best interest at heart, but they are still little more than “maybes”.

So what can we do? Am I saying to to give up?

No. I’m saying we need to stop being the victims of our circumstances. I was reading a novel this afternoon and the main character was trapped by the bad guy. She was bound and locked in a wine cellar in a heavily guarded house. She sat and cried. Then she remembered that she was tired of being a victim. She was tired of others dictating her fate TO her.

Have you reached that point yet?

Part of living the balanced life is realizing after a season that you are DONE with hoping. You are ready to act.

So what is one thing you are doing to change your circumstances? One thing I did was decided to change the format of this blog. I wanted to provide individuals with some of the best information on money saving tips and tricks. I will continue to do that. But I’ve also decided that I’m going to give people what I most long for in my dark moments-straight forward talk laced with hope.

There is always hope. Hope is flying past us every day. There are opportunities to spend less or earn more. There are opportunities to put your family first or take a chance on your career. We swing back and forth continually. When we swing too far out of balance-either way-we have problems.

So I’m challenging you to see one or two areas of your life that you KNOW are not in balance right now. What are they? How can you bring them in balance. It can be a relationship with your kids or a past due payment to a creditor. Every problem has a symptom and a solution.

And, as promised, I’m going to keep sharing insights in this new tone. I hope you’ll forward my blog links. Post me on twitter, comment on me on your blogs [when you do link back to me and tell me you did it in comments. I'll be happy to tell others about the post.]

But let’s quit talking about the problem. Let’ s work together on a solution.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Balance, Not Deprivation is a section designed for any person. It is about recognizing the danger of being TOO much of a saver. Wow, did I just say that? Yes. As a former tightwad I recognize that aggressive saving isn’t about fiscal responsibility, it’s about fear. This section is about how to enjoy small indulgences for a reasonable price.

What keeps you motivated? For some people it is the satisfaction of a growing bank account. Other people need to be able to have a small splurge when they’ve kept on budget. For kids it’s good to have a small reward, even pop corn and a movie together. The point is to have something to celebrate your successes so you don’t get burned out in the pursuit.

Set a goal, find a motivation and go for it.

Receive notification when new tips are posted by subscribing here.
Bio
Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Balance, Not Deprivation is a section designed for any person. It is about recognizing the danger of being TOO much of a saver. Wow, did I just say that? Yes. As a former tightwad I recognize that aggressive saving isn’t about fiscal responsibility, it’s about fear. This section is about how to enjoy small indulgences for a reasonable price.

What is your spending trigger?

A spending trigger is something that causes you to suddenly want to spend. For me it is the first warm day of Spring. Finally the sun is out; it is warm; the windows in my car are down [or if not, at least the vent is blowing in cold air instead of hot]. Everything feels great. I suddenly get the urge to go buy steaks, charcoal, and desserts.

Another spending trigger is when I’m all alone. Everyone once in a while all 4 girls are gone, my husband is out of town and I’m working all day at the house. I feel like going to the grocery and grabbing a few treats and making a nice dinner for one.

Those may not be your impulses. You might enjoy getting to the mall in the middle of winter. Maybe Fridays make you want to go to a restaurant. Whatever your spending trigger is, recognizing it can help you keep your budget in balance.

If yours is a weekly trigger you need to work it in to your budget [or simply ignore the impulse]. If you have the occasional trigger do what I do, spend the coin jar.  Use some kind of large jar [the bigger the better] and toss all your pocket change in it. If you can part with a dollar bill or two, put that in there as well. Then, when the impulse hits, dump your coins in to one of those Coinstar machines at the grocery and use the money to do something fun.

The key to saving money isn’t about NOT doing things all the time, is is about planning for those things so that you have the money waiting for you when the time comes.

Receive notification when new tips are posted by subscribing here.

Bio
Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.