It seems right now many people are stressed. I’m not simply talking about the stress that comes with economic uncertainty, but I’m seeing fewer smiles on people’s faces. I’m seeing more blogs with angry comments. I’m seeing more hopelessness.

Since the focus of this blog is living a life of balance as well as financial principles I decided to take a look at what stress costs each of us.

Now, I’m not an economist. Remember, I started this blog because I’ve lived it. Therefore, I won’t have some speculation based on a fancy equation by a long-dead mathematician. I’m going to look at things all of us can measure.

1. Stress can cost you an entire meal when a bad phone call comes while you’re fixing supper.
2. Stress can cost you an evening of fun with your kids when you allow the office to follow you home.
3. Stress can cost you quite a bit on your grocery bill when you are in a hurry or upset. [You tend to buy more when you aren't paying attention.]
4. Stress can cost you. The money for prescriptions to counter the effects of stress.

But what can we do with these? I want to offer something to think about and something to do.

First, the something to do. When you go grocery shopping or to do your errands, leave the house with a list. Before you leave, estimate how much things will cost and take the cash with you. Do not use credit or debits. If you are writing a grocery list and making your weekly meals based on the sales, this will be even easier to do. Give yourself some pad [if it is in the budget] but not too much. You need to stay within your budget.

Next, listen to a favorite CD or a book on CD on your way to the grocery. I borrow them from the library and listen on my way to the grocery and to do other errands. I have truly found about a 15%-20% decrease in my weekly grocery bill when I combine a list, a good mood and CASH ONLY.

The something to think about is this: it is always something!! While that statement is usually said to imply that there is always something to mess things up I think we need to flip it around and recognize that there is always SOMETHING to be thankful for. We need to stop focusing on the fear and focus on the positive. I say this not for some pie-in-the-sky-let’s-all-hold-hands ideal, but rather because I’ve come to realize that no matter how bad my circumstances, there was always SOMETHING good to be found. When I took the time to recognize those good things I was able to accomplish more, spend less, and generally enjoy life.

This blog is about the Balanced Life. That balance recognizes that there will be times when things are not working out as we’d like them to. Sometimes the weight on the BAD side of the scale is extremely large. That is why an arsenal of recognition of the positive is so crucial. You simply pull it out and bring your life back in to balance.

So take the time to ignore the stress. Focus on what you’ve won and are gaining rather than on what you’ve lost.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her. She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

It seems everyone has an opinion these days about how we got in to the financial mess and how we’re going to get out. In fact, as I was reading through some articles in preparation for today’s post I had to laugh. The cover of the economist shows a fish luring the other fish to certain death. The cover says “The World Economy and the Peril of Optimism.” [I have tried to link to it here]

I’m going to have to read that story to get a fuller grasp of what they’re saying inside but, on the surface, I’d have to say that optimism is necessary to get out of tough times and live in balance.

The Balanced Life is about Realistic Optimism or, to use what has become a cliche, hope. I don’t mean Obama’s “Yes we Can” political slogan. I’m more in line with the Biblical hope “Confident Expectation of Good.” Sometimes it’s not a matter of what we can do “Yes, I can” but rather it is the understanding that all of life works in cycles. Unfortunately, that means that there will be times of market correction.

For the individual reading this blog, what does it mean? It means using some of the things I’ve taught. Money saving ideas, ways to trim your food budget, fun nights at home are all proactive manifestations of hope.

I can tell you for a fact that you feel way better about your prospects when you have a good day at work vs. getting a collections call. So, while optimism and hope alone will not produce change they can be the fuel of enginuity that takes your idea forward.

So, with all this theoretical, let’s bring it to a practical place.  What is your actual financial goal. I want you to think about this beyond simply “getting by”. Where is it you’d like to be in 3 years? Is what you’re doing conducive with that? If you want to be debt free then your first task isn’t making more money-your first task is spending less. While on the surface that seems to be worse when you recognize your long term goal…it is exciting. Just like a spoiled child who receives everything it asks for, we get no joy if we get everything we want the moment we want it. There is joy that comes with hard work and building toward a goal-then accomplishing it.

Write out your goal. Now start to do it.

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Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

I took a moment to step back this last week to re-examine the Balanced Life and what it was here for. I designed this website as a way to help people. What I realized was that I was a afraid to share some hard truths along the way.

Honesty isn’t always accepted with wild enthusiasm. We all say that we want people to be honest but what we mean is we want honesty to a point.

I’ve decided that the only way this site will serve the people I created it for was if I was honest.

So, here I start. I realize some of what I’ll say will be contraversial, but I hope everything I say will make you think.

First, THIS is completely out of balance!! [Follow link to story in the Washington Post]. For those of you who don’t want to go to it, the story is about a local councilwoman who is being overrun with requests for help.

The title of the story is, “A Hundred Anxious Days: In a South Carolina Town Where the Downturn Has Deepened Since the Inauguration, Two Obama Supporters Have Struggled, Going From ‘Fired Up’ to Tired Out”

I have a degree in Politcal Science and have followed Politics closely since I was a sophmore in High School. It fascinates me. One thing I learned in college was that many constituents contact their congressmen/women with problems.

Since WHEN is Government the solution to our every ill?

I hope that with this website people will begin to learn the JOY and FREEDOM inherent in self-sufficiency, self-denial and self worth. I know what it feels like to go hat-in-hand to the government. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer he was our sole income earner. We had four young children. We received food stamps but were told we could not have any other aid. That lasted a few months and then he was back to work, and we were on our own again.

I understand what so many thousands of people are facing right now. We were 8 days from foreclosure. We were missing meals, my husband more than anyone else. Despite that I’m glad we were not given more aid. It forced us to learn how to function without the government asking us to to provide documents if our income went up $10. The system is designed to keep people from getting out.

I want to help you build up your reserve and get in balance. It is a hard road but one worth walking. You don’t have to answer to bureaucratic red tape. So, right now, try to find one problem that you can address without looking to outside help. If you do need outside help, see how you can work together with your neighbors and individuals in your community to help each other. During World War II people had “Victory Gardens”.  My grandparents’ generation knew what it was to be a good neighbor because people still helped each other.

In our increasingly fast moving society we’ve lost a sense of community. Why not take the initiative. If you are really good at making bread and another neighbor is great at growing beans why not swap services? I’m a writer and I’d gladly edit someone’s resume if they’d watch my kids for a couple of hours so I can work.

Each of us has gift, talents and interests. Charging money gives the perception of increased value, any maybe some things are worth more, but if we will take the time to try to USE our abilities to help each other…We can start to get in balance.

Stop running to the government for help. Who cares if your taxes paid for it. The only way things will change is if we start changing ourselves.

All this talk about bailouts, subsidies, shovel-ready projects and unemployment projects are meaningless if you’re hungry. The government wasn’t put there to insure you got everything you want. It was not there to make sure I get everything I want.  It is time for us to start to pursue the life we want in earnest.

I’ve started by planting my garden and reading books on business. What are you doing?

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

I’ve offered a few different ideas on ways to save money. I’ll list three of them below:

1. Rounding every withdrawl to the nearest dollar in your checkbook. I have found this results in an average of 50 cents PER transaction. That means every debit, every check. That can add to substantial amounts of money at the end of each month to get out of debt!!

2. The old “coins in a jar”. When I was younger that was our spending money on vacation. Usually there was about $120-$130 in the coin jar at the end of a year. It was a pretty good way to do things!

3. Take 5% of what you earn off the top and move it to savings before you pay a single bill. This, of course, means you need to be living within your means first.

Today I want to talk about what you’re saving for! One issue people who are out of balance run in to is what to do with that money. Savers see it as a safety net, a source of security, and go in to spasms of fear and guilt at the idea of spending a penny of it.  Spenders get itchy fingers as they see that balance climb. They begin to focus on all the things they’ve been denying themselves.

I suggest having two savings accounts. Longterm and Shortterm. Then name them. If you’re saving for new windows on your house or a new car, decide which account that is and how much of the money you save each month goes to that goal. By the same token decide how much of your money is for “Emergency Fund” and how high you’ll let that go. There needs to be a limit [I'd say a year's expenses] so you don’t become compulsive about it [yes, I'm talking to all the spenders out there.]

Have a goal for all the money in your account. And if you have to use some, build it back up. We’re going to explore this topic a bit more in this week’s webinar. We’re doing final testing the beginning of this week and everyone signed up for The Balance Sheet who indicated “Webinars” will be notified when enrollment is open.

In the meantime, use what you’ve learned here and we’ll look forward to talking to you again soon!

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Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

People who hear about a money website usually make two assumptions: it’s about investing or it’s for people who are flat broke. Well, neither is true for The Balanced Life.

I have known VERY wealthy people who had a poverty mentality. Their every thought was about capturing more and clutching to what they had. They feared every penny they might have to spend and they dreaded each purchase. They were encapsulated by terror. For them, money was to be stockpiled and never spent. It was to be saved “Just in Case”. The problem was when “Just in Case” happened, they screamed and fumed about spending the money. They were out of balance.

This website is for EVERYONE. Having a balanced attitude toward money is crucial whether you earn $30,000 a year or $300,000. It is necessary if you have $1 million in savings or $1. You need to remember that money is a tool. It is neither a savior nor a friend. It isn’t an expression of love. It isn’t the answer to every problem.

We told our kids one day “You know, even as we earn more money we will still have a budget. We will not buy everything we want, even if we can afford it.” Our kids were shocked. They had bought in to the notion that if it is there it is to be spent.

One of the things I’m going to cover in my free webinars in April is the way our family determines how much we can spend on fun stuff. This is very important to keeping EVERYONE in balance, whether a saver or spender.
I have are days I’m just so frustrated with trying. I don’t want to keep track of it anymore! But I’ve seen when I push past that wall, I feel better on the other side.

So I keep working and keep trying.

I hope you will join me.

Make sure if you want to be in the webinar that you sign up for “The Balance Sheet” newsletter and indicate that you’d like to know about webinars. I am limiting each webinar to 10 people so that everyone will have plenty of time to ask questions.

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Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

As I was thinking this weekend about what to say about the Balanced Life I started thinking about what I most need to hear in my life. I came to the conclusion that I want to SEE results. This has to do with me and with those around me. I’m tired of hoping things will change or wishing for something different.

I’m tired of talk.

I’m tired of telling myself that things will be better when XYZ happens…because it rarely is.

I’m tired of false hopes and empty promises made by others. Most of the times these people are completely sincere and have my best interest at heart, but they are still little more than “maybes”.

So what can we do? Am I saying to to give up?

No. I’m saying we need to stop being the victims of our circumstances. I was reading a novel this afternoon and the main character was trapped by the bad guy. She was bound and locked in a wine cellar in a heavily guarded house. She sat and cried. Then she remembered that she was tired of being a victim. She was tired of others dictating her fate TO her.

Have you reached that point yet?

Part of living the balanced life is realizing after a season that you are DONE with hoping. You are ready to act.

So what is one thing you are doing to change your circumstances? One thing I did was decided to change the format of this blog. I wanted to provide individuals with some of the best information on money saving tips and tricks. I will continue to do that. But I’ve also decided that I’m going to give people what I most long for in my dark moments-straight forward talk laced with hope.

There is always hope. Hope is flying past us every day. There are opportunities to spend less or earn more. There are opportunities to put your family first or take a chance on your career. We swing back and forth continually. When we swing too far out of balance-either way-we have problems.

So I’m challenging you to see one or two areas of your life that you KNOW are not in balance right now. What are they? How can you bring them in balance. It can be a relationship with your kids or a past due payment to a creditor. Every problem has a symptom and a solution.

And, as promised, I’m going to keep sharing insights in this new tone. I hope you’ll forward my blog links. Post me on twitter, comment on me on your blogs [when you do link back to me and tell me you did it in comments. I'll be happy to tell others about the post.]

But let’s quit talking about the problem. Let’ s work together on a solution.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Facing our finances isn’t always easy. In fact, many people don’t even worry about them until they become a problem. These postings are designed to help us keep a balanced look at where we are and where we want to be.

Where is it all going?

It’s Friday which means Payday for many people. So, do you know where your paycheck is? Do you know where it is going?

It is easy to fall in to a Friday mentality. I have two kids who are having birthdays in the next 6 weeks. One is on a Friday, another is on a Saturday. Both fall on the weekend of Paydays.

Does that mean that I can spend more because of where their birthdays land on the calendar?

No.

The other bills don’t disappear in celebration of my kids’ birthday any more than they disappear for my birthday or “Just because I want them to”. The reality is we have to get beyond a “Feast or Famine” view of our finances.

Consider what your attitude is toward money. Do you expect that things will be better in a few months? If so, what are you basing that on? Are you making changes to build yourself up so you can be sure there will be extra money when you need it?

What are some of the positive changes you are making to improve your financial future?
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Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Facing our finances isn’t always easy. In fact, many people don’t even worry about them until they become a problem. These postings are designed to help us keep a balanced look at where we are and where we want to be.

When we hit financial bumps we like to try to find out WHY it happened.  A little personal reflection is useful. It helps us identiy habits that get us in financial messes.

Often, however, this exercise is self-discovery turns in to a blame game. Instead of looking at what we did wrong we seek every reason to blame everyone from the president, the banker and everyone down to your cat!

While I am sympathetic to sudden events-My husband’s cancer diagnosis nearly took everything we had-those are just the dramatic events that show our own financial issues.

I ran across an informercial last night as I was getting ready for bed. This guy said he exposed how the debt you have is not your fault. These were VERY carefully selected words on his part. He wanted to get you in an Us vs. Them mentality so you’d buy his book. Clearly HE was on your side. [He also said he'd sold 40 million copies of his last book...so I'm sure he feels your financial pain.]

While I’m sure many of his tips are reasonable, and very useful, my issue is with the attitude he is pushing. Until EACH of us takes responsibility for our part of our financial mess things will never improve for us or our kids. When you’ve been living paycheck to paycheck for three years but you go out to dinner three times a week and have internet access on your cell phone…well, that sudden job loss wasn’t what put you in the poor house. It was your bad money management. The job loss simply exposed the risky behavior you were engaged in.

For us, it was our reliance on overtime to keep us ahead of the bills every month. While we were able to save a good deal of money [in our eyes], once Chris couldn’t work for 6 months that $3,000 we’d saved up really didn’t go very far.

This is a longer than usual post but I wanted to get everyone thinking. It is easy to see the outside circumstances that put you where you are now, but if you want to live a balanced life you must take responsibility for your part. Because you are the only person you can control.

For more on this read my free article “Saver Married to a Spender”. Also, the newsletter is coming out this week. It is free and full of information. Be sure you’re signed up to get yours. Use the sign up form on the right!

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Bio
Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Balance, Not Deprivation is a section designed for any person. It is about recognizing the danger of being TOO much of a saver. Wow, did I just say that? Yes. As a former tightwad I recognize that aggressive saving isn’t about fiscal responsibility, it’s about fear. This section is about how to enjoy small indulgences for a reasonable price.

It is easy to get in a crisis mentality when creditor are after you. It can also get scary when you see people at your company losing your job…will you be next?

Many people want to run their finances based on emotion. When I feel happy I’ll spend. I’ll buy gifts, get a $4 coffee and an new haircut. Also, some people want to spend when they feel depressed. They think a new outfit will make them feel better when everything is crashing in around them.

Neither hoarding, nor spending is the answer to emotions. The best possible thing is to look at balance. You need to exercise control over your spending during both the peaks and valleys. That means having a budget that you establish when you have a LEVEL head. Then you stick to that budget.

You learn to tell yourself no.

I think that is one of our biggest problems. We want to find a reason to say YES to things we really shouldn’t say yes to. Then we get in panic mode.

If you see your department downsizing then scale back on some of your extras and put the money in savings. Stop using credit cards and look for alternate sources of income. But DON’T stop spending all together because you cannot sustain it forever.

Think of money like eating. You can’t starve yourself, or overeat, forever or you will pay for it in your health. Likewise you can’t save everything [or spend more than you have] or it will affect your financial health. If you realize you’ve gained a few pounds then resist dessert, don’t fast for a week. Do the same with spending. Scale back on what you spend-but don’t stop all together because you’re simply setting yourself up for failure.

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Bio

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her. She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Facing our finances isn’t always easy. In fact, many people don’t even worry about them until they become a problem. These postings are designed to help us keep a balanced look at where we are and where we want to be.

When facing uncertain times it is easy to get caught up in panic or extremes. When we are panicked we make rash decisions. When we’re in a hurry we may not choose the thing that will be in our best interest in the long run. Think of a kid who interrupts mom every time she gets a phone call. They know that whatever they ask for mom will say yes to get them to leave her alone.

Your financial lack, or potential financial lack, does the same thing. It keeps bombarding your thoughts with fear and promises of complete destruction.

We need to step back and deterimine where we are, what changes need to be made and then begin to work the plan. This cool headed approach will save the bulimic binge/purge cycle that epitomizes many financial plans.

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Bio
Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.