Facing our finances isn’t always easy. In fact, many people don’t even worry about them until they become a problem. These postings are designed to help us keep a balanced look at where we are and where we want to be.

When we hit financial bumps we like to try to find out WHY it happened.  A little personal reflection is useful. It helps us identiy habits that get us in financial messes.

Often, however, this exercise is self-discovery turns in to a blame game. Instead of looking at what we did wrong we seek every reason to blame everyone from the president, the banker and everyone down to your cat!

While I am sympathetic to sudden events-My husband’s cancer diagnosis nearly took everything we had-those are just the dramatic events that show our own financial issues.

I ran across an informercial last night as I was getting ready for bed. This guy said he exposed how the debt you have is not your fault. These were VERY carefully selected words on his part. He wanted to get you in an Us vs. Them mentality so you’d buy his book. Clearly HE was on your side. [He also said he'd sold 40 million copies of his last book...so I'm sure he feels your financial pain.]

While I’m sure many of his tips are reasonable, and very useful, my issue is with the attitude he is pushing. Until EACH of us takes responsibility for our part of our financial mess things will never improve for us or our kids. When you’ve been living paycheck to paycheck for three years but you go out to dinner three times a week and have internet access on your cell phone…well, that sudden job loss wasn’t what put you in the poor house. It was your bad money management. The job loss simply exposed the risky behavior you were engaged in.

For us, it was our reliance on overtime to keep us ahead of the bills every month. While we were able to save a good deal of money [in our eyes], once Chris couldn’t work for 6 months that $3,000 we’d saved up really didn’t go very far.

This is a longer than usual post but I wanted to get everyone thinking. It is easy to see the outside circumstances that put you where you are now, but if you want to live a balanced life you must take responsibility for your part. Because you are the only person you can control.

For more on this read my free article “Saver Married to a Spender”. Also, the newsletter is coming out this week. It is free and full of information. Be sure you’re signed up to get yours. Use the sign up form on the right!

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Bio
Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Balance, Not Deprivation is a section designed for any person. It is about recognizing the danger of being TOO much of a saver. Wow, did I just say that? Yes. As a former tightwad I recognize that aggressive saving isn’t about fiscal responsibility, it’s about fear. This section is about how to enjoy small indulgences for a reasonable price.

It is easy to get in a crisis mentality when creditor are after you. It can also get scary when you see people at your company losing your job…will you be next?

Many people want to run their finances based on emotion. When I feel happy I’ll spend. I’ll buy gifts, get a $4 coffee and an new haircut. Also, some people want to spend when they feel depressed. They think a new outfit will make them feel better when everything is crashing in around them.

Neither hoarding, nor spending is the answer to emotions. The best possible thing is to look at balance. You need to exercise control over your spending during both the peaks and valleys. That means having a budget that you establish when you have a LEVEL head. Then you stick to that budget.

You learn to tell yourself no.

I think that is one of our biggest problems. We want to find a reason to say YES to things we really shouldn’t say yes to. Then we get in panic mode.

If you see your department downsizing then scale back on some of your extras and put the money in savings. Stop using credit cards and look for alternate sources of income. But DON’T stop spending all together because you cannot sustain it forever.

Think of money like eating. You can’t starve yourself, or overeat, forever or you will pay for it in your health. Likewise you can’t save everything [or spend more than you have] or it will affect your financial health. If you realize you’ve gained a few pounds then resist dessert, don’t fast for a week. Do the same with spending. Scale back on what you spend-but don’t stop all together because you’re simply setting yourself up for failure.

Receive notification when new tips are posted by subscribing here.

Bio

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her. She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.