It seems right now many people are stressed. I’m not simply talking about the stress that comes with economic uncertainty, but I’m seeing fewer smiles on people’s faces. I’m seeing more blogs with angry comments. I’m seeing more hopelessness.

Since the focus of this blog is living a life of balance as well as financial principles I decided to take a look at what stress costs each of us.

Now, I’m not an economist. Remember, I started this blog because I’ve lived it. Therefore, I won’t have some speculation based on a fancy equation by a long-dead mathematician. I’m going to look at things all of us can measure.

1. Stress can cost you an entire meal when a bad phone call comes while you’re fixing supper.
2. Stress can cost you an evening of fun with your kids when you allow the office to follow you home.
3. Stress can cost you quite a bit on your grocery bill when you are in a hurry or upset. [You tend to buy more when you aren't paying attention.]
4. Stress can cost you. The money for prescriptions to counter the effects of stress.

But what can we do with these? I want to offer something to think about and something to do.

First, the something to do. When you go grocery shopping or to do your errands, leave the house with a list. Before you leave, estimate how much things will cost and take the cash with you. Do not use credit or debits. If you are writing a grocery list and making your weekly meals based on the sales, this will be even easier to do. Give yourself some pad [if it is in the budget] but not too much. You need to stay within your budget.

Next, listen to a favorite CD or a book on CD on your way to the grocery. I borrow them from the library and listen on my way to the grocery and to do other errands. I have truly found about a 15%-20% decrease in my weekly grocery bill when I combine a list, a good mood and CASH ONLY.

The something to think about is this: it is always something!! While that statement is usually said to imply that there is always something to mess things up I think we need to flip it around and recognize that there is always SOMETHING to be thankful for. We need to stop focusing on the fear and focus on the positive. I say this not for some pie-in-the-sky-let’s-all-hold-hands ideal, but rather because I’ve come to realize that no matter how bad my circumstances, there was always SOMETHING good to be found. When I took the time to recognize those good things I was able to accomplish more, spend less, and generally enjoy life.

This blog is about the Balanced Life. That balance recognizes that there will be times when things are not working out as we’d like them to. Sometimes the weight on the BAD side of the scale is extremely large. That is why an arsenal of recognition of the positive is so crucial. You simply pull it out and bring your life back in to balance.

So take the time to ignore the stress. Focus on what you’ve won and are gaining rather than on what you’ve lost.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her. She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

There is a stereotypical belief that women are tempted by sales. I would have to agree that there is a measure of truth in this. We like to feel we are getting great bargains.

I read a story over 10 years ago that said that, while women are perceived to be spenders, it is actually men who tend to spend larger amounts of money on “toys”. This was because women will buy a $200 outfit with accessories, but men will by a snow mobile.

The key to being able to buy both of these things without destroying your relationship is to NOT buy stuff on credit and to set money aside for it.

“But that will take years!!” I hear you saying. The reality is either way you go it will take years to purchase. One way it will take years to save up. The other it will take years to pay off [plus cost THOUSANDS more in interest].

To be clear, I’m not promoting a “matress” mentaility where we all stuff our money away and hoard it. What I am suggesting is balance. Don’t buy EVERYTHING you can afford. Make sure there is money left after your paycheck. Have smaller indulgece. I won’t say to avoid eating out entirely, but eat a little less, take advantage of specials and tip your server well. [You can spend $4 on a dessert you'll feel guilty about later OR add that money to a tip and help someone else in a down economy.]

If you’re married or share expenses with a partner you need to have an agreement about how money is spent and STICK TO IT. Make sure each person knows how much spending money they have. Then do with your spending money what you will. Instead of impulse buying and throwing the entire budget off, have a “fun money allowance” for each of you to do with what you will-guilt free and without comment from the other.

Remember, it isn’t spending that is bad, just as eating that isn’t bad. It is the over-indulgence of both that will lead to problems later on.

Do you have a clever saving tip? Share it with us!

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Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

As I was thinking this weekend about what to say about the Balanced Life I started thinking about what I most need to hear in my life. I came to the conclusion that I want to SEE results. This has to do with me and with those around me. I’m tired of hoping things will change or wishing for something different.

I’m tired of talk.

I’m tired of telling myself that things will be better when XYZ happens…because it rarely is.

I’m tired of false hopes and empty promises made by others. Most of the times these people are completely sincere and have my best interest at heart, but they are still little more than “maybes”.

So what can we do? Am I saying to to give up?

No. I’m saying we need to stop being the victims of our circumstances. I was reading a novel this afternoon and the main character was trapped by the bad guy. She was bound and locked in a wine cellar in a heavily guarded house. She sat and cried. Then she remembered that she was tired of being a victim. She was tired of others dictating her fate TO her.

Have you reached that point yet?

Part of living the balanced life is realizing after a season that you are DONE with hoping. You are ready to act.

So what is one thing you are doing to change your circumstances? One thing I did was decided to change the format of this blog. I wanted to provide individuals with some of the best information on money saving tips and tricks. I will continue to do that. But I’ve also decided that I’m going to give people what I most long for in my dark moments-straight forward talk laced with hope.

There is always hope. Hope is flying past us every day. There are opportunities to spend less or earn more. There are opportunities to put your family first or take a chance on your career. We swing back and forth continually. When we swing too far out of balance-either way-we have problems.

So I’m challenging you to see one or two areas of your life that you KNOW are not in balance right now. What are they? How can you bring them in balance. It can be a relationship with your kids or a past due payment to a creditor. Every problem has a symptom and a solution.

And, as promised, I’m going to keep sharing insights in this new tone. I hope you’ll forward my blog links. Post me on twitter, comment on me on your blogs [when you do link back to me and tell me you did it in comments. I'll be happy to tell others about the post.]

But let’s quit talking about the problem. Let’ s work together on a solution.

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Facing our finances isn’t always easy. In fact, many people don’t even worry about them until they become a problem. These postings are designed to help us keep a balanced look at where we are and where we want to be.

When we hit financial bumps we like to try to find out WHY it happened.  A little personal reflection is useful. It helps us identiy habits that get us in financial messes.

Often, however, this exercise is self-discovery turns in to a blame game. Instead of looking at what we did wrong we seek every reason to blame everyone from the president, the banker and everyone down to your cat!

While I am sympathetic to sudden events-My husband’s cancer diagnosis nearly took everything we had-those are just the dramatic events that show our own financial issues.

I ran across an informercial last night as I was getting ready for bed. This guy said he exposed how the debt you have is not your fault. These were VERY carefully selected words on his part. He wanted to get you in an Us vs. Them mentality so you’d buy his book. Clearly HE was on your side. [He also said he'd sold 40 million copies of his last book...so I'm sure he feels your financial pain.]

While I’m sure many of his tips are reasonable, and very useful, my issue is with the attitude he is pushing. Until EACH of us takes responsibility for our part of our financial mess things will never improve for us or our kids. When you’ve been living paycheck to paycheck for three years but you go out to dinner three times a week and have internet access on your cell phone…well, that sudden job loss wasn’t what put you in the poor house. It was your bad money management. The job loss simply exposed the risky behavior you were engaged in.

For us, it was our reliance on overtime to keep us ahead of the bills every month. While we were able to save a good deal of money [in our eyes], once Chris couldn’t work for 6 months that $3,000 we’d saved up really didn’t go very far.

This is a longer than usual post but I wanted to get everyone thinking. It is easy to see the outside circumstances that put you where you are now, but if you want to live a balanced life you must take responsibility for your part. Because you are the only person you can control.

For more on this read my free article “Saver Married to a Spender”. Also, the newsletter is coming out this week. It is free and full of information. Be sure you’re signed up to get yours. Use the sign up form on the right!

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Bio
Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her.     She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.

Balance, Not Deprivation is a section designed for any person. It is about recognizing the danger of being TOO much of a saver. Wow, did I just say that? Yes. As a former tightwad I recognize that aggressive saving isn’t about fiscal responsibility, it’s about fear. This section is about how to enjoy small indulgences for a reasonable price.

It is easy to get in a crisis mentality when creditor are after you. It can also get scary when you see people at your company losing your job…will you be next?

Many people want to run their finances based on emotion. When I feel happy I’ll spend. I’ll buy gifts, get a $4 coffee and an new haircut. Also, some people want to spend when they feel depressed. They think a new outfit will make them feel better when everything is crashing in around them.

Neither hoarding, nor spending is the answer to emotions. The best possible thing is to look at balance. You need to exercise control over your spending during both the peaks and valleys. That means having a budget that you establish when you have a LEVEL head. Then you stick to that budget.

You learn to tell yourself no.

I think that is one of our biggest problems. We want to find a reason to say YES to things we really shouldn’t say yes to. Then we get in panic mode.

If you see your department downsizing then scale back on some of your extras and put the money in savings. Stop using credit cards and look for alternate sources of income. But DON’T stop spending all together because you cannot sustain it forever.

Think of money like eating. You can’t starve yourself, or overeat, forever or you will pay for it in your health. Likewise you can’t save everything [or spend more than you have] or it will affect your financial health. If you realize you’ve gained a few pounds then resist dessert, don’t fast for a week. Do the same with spending. Scale back on what you spend-but don’t stop all together because you’re simply setting yourself up for failure.

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Bio

Tiffany Colter is a passionate freelance writer whose credits include Today’s Christian, Charisma Magazine, Toledo Business Journal, and the Afictionado E-zine. Tenacious in her approach not only to create a great story, but also to mentor other writers, Tiffany can always be found in the presence of a book or laptop. A former world traveler who is fluent in three languages, she strives to reach those who are hurting around her. She enjoys helping others build a strong business and writes a daily marketing blog for writers called the Writing Career Coach and a common-sense money management site, TheBalancedLife.com. Tiffany lives outside Toledo, OH with her husband, a recent cancer survivor, and their four girls.