This photo of my dog resting really resonates with me. Dog people understand, but for those who are not, please indulge me for just a moment. My dog is a rescue and for the first few months he was always barking, jumping, scratching, and insecure. He never stopped moving and was exhausting to be around. But he now knows I care for him. He understands our relationship is secure and he is resting comfortably. He is comfortable in my care for him and I know he is loyal to me. The extremes have calmed and there is peace. I have seen the same in human interactions: Chaos when there is uncertainty, peace when things are certain. That is the topic for this week.
In our personal lives, establishing positive habits can significantly influence our relationships and overall well-being. Last month, we explored how changing our thought patterns can lead to personal growth. This month, let’s focus on adopting new habits to enhance our personal life and relationships.
I have found this strategy to be very easy to do and effective. Identify one or two habits that can improve your personal life. For example, if you aim to build stronger connections, establish a routine of regular, meaningful conversations with the people who are important to you. Or you might want to schedule a time to do exercise or even cutting up vegetables so you have healthy grab and go snacks.
Another beneficial habit could be practicing gratitude. Lately this has become a great buzzword, but most of the “gratitude” I’ve seen is being grateful for how awesome you are. What I am suggesting is taking time to focus on what is going right in your life and your world. Understand how blessed you truly are—even in bad situations or tough times—and express appreciation to those around you. This might mean being polite to the person scanning your purchases, thanking a person who holds a door, or not snapping back at someone who was rude and instead giving them the benefit of the doubt. This simple practice can enhance your outlook on life and strengthen your bonds with others. I am a Christian and the Bible really focuses on forgiving others. I have found the more I forgive and let things go, the more peaceful I am inside.
Creating routines for shared activities can also strengthen relationships. Plan regular date nights, family outings, or group hobbies. These activities provide opportunities for connection and shared experiences, building a stronger sense of togetherness. My husband and I started having “date nights” every Monday night during a very difficult time in our life. I would borrow a video from the library and spend $2-$3 on a small treat and enjoy it together when the kids went to bed. They knew on date night to stay in their rooms and not do what we called “the potty parade” for hours just to see what we were up to.
What I want you to see is it is really very small changes that can be quite meaningful. As I write this blog today there are a number of very worrisome and difficult things happening in my family. We learned of terminal illness for one person, while another has been hospitalized for days and just went in to emergency surgery. I was able to take time to give attention to those things and support my family, but still have some peace, gratitude and focus. That is because I’m trying to not just do this, but live this lifestyle. I have done it long enough that when this morning was 4 hours of chaos, I could give my full attention to family and—once I was certain they had everything they needed from me—then I can shift to my work for the day. I am also available to leave, if necessary, to support my family. I am glad my family knows they are a priority because in years past that wasn’t always the case.
As you implement these habits, pay attention to the changes they bring. Are you feeling more connected and supported in your relationships? Is there a noticeable improvement in the quality of your interactions? Observing these positive outcomes can reinforce your commitment to maintaining these new routines. Balancing personal growth with relationship nurturing requires intentional effort. By establishing habits that support growth and connection, you can create a more harmonious and fulfilling personal life. Remember, the small, consistent actions you take can lead to profound changes in your relationships and overall well-being.
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